Someday

We are settling into our summer routine now that we have been home from Colorado for a couple of weeks.  I'm not a huge fan of sending the girls off to summer camp (it's the best time of the year in Chicago; why would I want them away from us?), so although the girls sometimes get a little sick of each other (ie, I said, "Stay out of my room!"), it seems we do best when we have time to wander.  When they were little we would traverse the city visiting various playgrounds in random neighborhoods or meandering through museums for as long as we could manage.  Now that they're older our outings can be more varied....last week included a visit to our old high-rise neighborhood, Lakeshore East (near Millennium Park) with the dog; a day at the Art Institute spent sketching in the Modern Wing, swimming at the Wilmette Pool, riding roller coasters at Great America and a couple of trips over to Adams Playground to play in the splash area.  All and all, as Lola said, "A week of adventures" -- and a week to be grateful for, particularly because I'm able to work from home right now.

Days gone by...

While I'm good at appreciating all the good experiences and people and memories that we've been blessed with, I know I'm also good at worrying about the times ahead that may not be so sweet.  Spending time with my kids is what drives me relentlessly through pretty much every aspect of every day.  My goal is to spend as much time with them as possible because I know that someday I'll be sitting here at my computer wondering where the time went, as well as wondering what I'm going to talk to Roc about.  I've already figured out that I'll be 50 the year that Isabel goes to college -- probably not a good year for me (or Roc, by association).  Right now we are so, so busy in our daily lives that we often have barely a moment to catch up on each day's events, but I know that someday we'll be the old couple sitting out on the porch wondering where our kids are and why they don't visit us more often.  Cat's in the cradle...

...and today

Why is life set up that way?  Middle age is so full of responsibility and busyness that we seem to often bustle through the very best moments and then later age -- I'm not exactly sure what else to call it -- gives us more time than I imagine we will need or, even worse -- want.

For now, I relish the small hand that snakes into mine as we walk down the street....even when I'm already maneuvering the dog and two cups of coffee...always room for one more.  I cherish the wet kisses that suck (er, lick) my cheek, even though it's a bit wetter than anyone would actually enjoy.  I make a point of laying down with my big 11-year old every night so that we can talk or read because, especially with her, I know that time is flashing by and she might soon not want me there.  I sit in the parks and watch them run around playing and think how little they were the first time we came.  Songs about time and regret make me cry.  Songs about happiness and love make me wish more fervently for more time, even though I know it will never be enough.

Mostly I try not to think too much about someday because I'm pretty sure that it won't be as beautiful as everyday is now.  After all, if I enjoy every day the best I can, then maybe someday will never actually come.